Courtesy of social media and that mum guilt that is instilled in us all from the very second our children are born (gotta love it); I don’t doubt that there are many mums out there who don’t feel the pressure to be the perfect parent.
The moment your child enters this world, overwhelmed, you realise just how important they are to you. You feel that weight of responsibility on your shoulders. And the pressure to be the perfect mum? Oh it’s there.
When you have a child with disabilities, that mum guilt and pressure is tenfold. All of a sudden from nowhere you adopt the name “super mum” from some people, when you don’t particularly feel it. At all.
I am not super mum.
Trust me, I’m not even close. For a start I swear too much. But I also lose my patience. I rely on YouTube and an iPad. I rely on my mum and nursery stopping me from being a stuck at home mum because I struggle to take both of my children out on my own. I rely on my friends allowing me to rant and get things off of my chest. My children don’t eat their five fruit and veg every day – they eat way too many biscuits. And sometimes I struggle to like myself because I doubt the job I’m doing is good.
I am not super mum.
True we do it to ourselves, but you can’t open Facebook these days without feeling like there is some parent shaming on your newsfeed – whether it’s intentional or not. Because opinion is always there.
Breast is best.
Bottle is best.
Dummies cause speech delay.
Baby wear, but don’t use *that* carrier.
Co-sleep it’s natural.
Don’t co-sleep it causes SIDS.
Aren’t we all supposed to be part of the motherhood? Does everyone really care about how other people parent?
Am I over sensitive sometimes? Maybe.
Do I overthink? All.The.Time.
Does the grass sometimes appear greener for us mums because it’s fertilised with Facebook bullshit? Yeah, I think so.
I’m never going to not overthink – it’s in my make-up. I will always worry I’m not doing a good enough job. I will always worry what people think of me.
I am not super mum.
But I try my best. And I love my kids.
“I myself am entirely made of flaws. Stitched together with good intentions” (Augusten Burroughs).
A version of this blog was originally written for and published by Family Fund.
